Monday, April 17, 2006

Letter from a Leader (2003)

This is quite an old letter but it still applies today. See also the insightful reply below the letter.

Letter posted by RoseGvr.
Recent response (4/2006) by Chava123



As background in case you don't know me - I was baptized in XXX in
l9XX, moved to XXX on the mission team in XX, worked as a XXXX for XXX, then went into the ministry at XX years old. My husband and I married in XX, and we moved wherever we were asked (more times than I can count), and sold everything to move Overseas for XX years before returning to the U.S. and coming to back to U.S.

We resigned from the ministry after over many years. I felt so much pressure to produce numbers, look a certain way, dress a certain way, have a beautiful home, make the stage at church beautiful, have beautiful people singing on stage, etc. - in short, a lot of emphasis on all the wrong things, but I didn't realize it at the time.

Having been in the ministry for a long time, and now having worked in
secular jobs for over XX years, I feel I have a unique perspective. I had no idea while I was in the ministry how out of touch I was with what "real" or "normal" (for lack of a better word) lives were.

I don't think anyone who has been in the ministry for years, especially if they went into the ministry straight out of college and never worked, can really grasp this until you've experienced it. I cannot emphasize enough to not underestimate how difficult it is to change the way you have thought when you have been in the ministry for years & years.

I hadn't taught in the Sunday school program since l983, although I had counselled (and corrected and rebuked) people on their attitudes about teaching. I had no idea what it was like when Wednesday night classes ran late, and what it was like to try to pick up the pieces of 2 tired children on Thursday morning at 6:45 trying to get them to school.

After only my first week working at the Medical Center as a XX for 12 hour shifts, the realization hit me how demanding I had thought my schedule was when I was on staff - now every day was much more intense than that staff meeting Tuesday as I went to work, tried to cook dinner before I left in the morning, arranged childcare for my children, etc. I was used to always being right, always having my opinion be the right one, telling people what to do all day long, and thinking I always knew better.

After resigning, it was the best thing that ever happened to us to stay where we had led (not go somewhere else, and certainly not to go somewhere else and accept another ministry job! that certainly wouldn't fit the definition of resignation) and learn the MANY lessons that we needed to learn. It was humbling and difficult to be on the other side of the pulpit, but you get a different, and very valuable view from there.

It's hard to explain the mindset that occurs when you have been in the
ministry for a long time. I really thought that being in the ministry was the only thing worth doing, that only the "best" people could do it, and so I looked down on everyone else for not being "sharp" enough to be in the ministry.

I was used to always being right, making judgements about big, little and totally unimportant things and expecting the people around me to do things my way, always having people help me with my responsibilities in life, being able to delegate anything I didn't want to do, having babysitters always readily available, using people to get my goals accomplished and make me look good (although at the time I thought it was sincere and best for them), etc. The pride and arrogance were overwhelming.

It has taken years to understand that no one else in the church has this carte blanche lifestyle. (We could sure use some of those babysitters now!!)

Recently, a couple we are close to came to us asking for a short term loan to be able to buy their child glasses. The husband has a full time job and a masters degree and the wife works part time. It hit me this is how most of the middle class in the United States lives - one thing goes wrong (a broken transmission, needing new glasses, an unexpected medical bill) and you are unable to meet your financial obligations. When you're in the ministry, all of your needs are met: medical insurance (even co-pays), mileage allowances for travel, expense account allowances for housing and entertainment, and so you are shielded from this kind of financial pressure.

So we asked people to be sacrificial, when really we weren't experiencing any real kind of financial sacrifice ourselves, as all of our needs were always met.

Myself, as well as all of the "old-timers" who have been in the ministry for years, have built a crumbling mess. It has not been easy to "fix" me (especially my thinking) and even after 4 years out of the ministry, I'm still not "fixed" because I have been trained in elitism, arrogance, harshness, judgementalism, and pride.

I am extremely concerned about the rushing stampede to hire Sam Laing to come to Athens. It is obvious the many strengths that Sam and Geri have to offer - their marriage, family, counselling ability, etc. But, from my viewpoint after having been in the ministry for over 1/3 of my life, having had 32 years in the ministry is not a plus, but a serious minus.

I have nothing against Sam & Geri Laing, but I have seen the mindset, priviledges, lifestyle and thought process that a leader on his "level" or "tier" in the ICOC system has been steeped in. I also believe many of these mindsets will not even be obvious to Sam for a long time, because we have been thoroughly indoctrinated in that way of thinking.

I believe that Sam is sincere in wanting to repent and that the Triangle church in many ways wasn't as oppressive or controlling as some of the ICOC churches have been, yet it will take time, and many painful conversations, to learn a new way of thinking and dealing with people. Leaving a church after resigning to come somewhere else without staying and learning the lessons there is a red flag to me too. I don't even think it is possible to know what those lessons might even be except with the passing of time.

I haven't seen any evidence of repentance, or even openness, about finances or leaders lifestyles. And although it hasn't been said, I wonder if this rush to hire the Laings has a lot to do with when their severance package expires. I don't want the church to make any huge decisions rashly and without everyone feeling great about the decisions, especially because of money issues.

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As someone stated above the identity of the person was not carefully concealed. I knew eactly who it was after reading the first paragraph. If you were in the Athens church there is only one person who this could be.

While her humility seems genuine and I agree with a lot of what she says I think you have to look at the actions of the person. This WML is acting as if she had a major revelation and is truly humbled and sorry for her actions. But you have to look at her actions now.

Many people in the church here have a lot of feelings about her and her husband because while other leaders stood and and apoligized to the entire congragation, they did not. They left the church and many people here believe they owe them an apology. True they were not in the ministry at the time, but they were for years. For years they had been part of the emotional abuse that went on in the church. Often they were the ones that were being abusive. They never apoligized. I worked under her for years and was victim to her abuse. I have seen her several times since she has left the church and never once has she offered an apology or expressed any regret.

So while the letter sounds nice. I would still say she doesn't get it. She has no idea. It's not enough to write an anonymous letter to a website and expect that to make it all right.

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Friday, November 04, 2005

ICC DIVIDES: CORE SEPARATES FROM MCKEAN FACTION!

From RightCyberUp.org

ICC Divides: Core Separating from McKean Faction
Revised: November 3, 2005

"We believe that you began your new movement with 'The Portland Story' article calling out 'the remnant' to follow you." -- Statement by 84 leaders of the International Churches of Christ withdrawing fellowship from Kip McKean.

A split appears inevitable, as a core group of International Church of Christ congregations has severed ties with ICC founder Kip McKean of the Portland (Oregon) International Church of Christ. It seems likely that a faction of churches affiliated with McKean and Portland will continue to divide from the core churches.

A November 2nd statement from 84 ICC church leaders announced that they would have "no further fellowship" with McKean unless he repented of "character sins" and "divisive tactics." The statement accused McKean of "dividing disciples and churches around the world," of "building a kingdom for yourself" and of telling a "self-advancing" revisionist history of the movement. The statement asserted, "We believe that you began your new movement with 'The Portland Story' article calling out 'the remnant' to follow you."

On October 3rd, a warning letter signed by 63 key ICC men’s leaders had been sent to Kip McKean, asking him to repent of his continued leadership sins and to stop the “self promotion and propaganda” coming from Portland. The Portland Church leadership (including McKean) responded with a letter on its website, defending its leader and methods and stating the intention to work toward similar goals as the core churches, “as in Acts 15, Paul and Barnabas going their separate directions.”

Although the core group has expressed concern about the methods and sincerity of McKean, and McKean has expressed concern about the “lukewarmness” of the core churches, the split in many ways appears to be a turf battle. McKean has begun recruiting members away from the core, and has supported church “replantings” (i.e. competing churches) in core cities, as part of a systematic and centrally controlled plan to evangelize the world.

Supporting McKean according to a Portland-run website (1) as of October 6 were:

The Portland Church of Christ leadership and congregation

the Greater Baltimore Church of Christ led by Doug Arthur

the Savannah Church of Christ (Georgia) led by Steve Johnson, who has announced his intention to go with McKean

the Central New York Church of Christ (upstate) led by Chris Broom

the Montreal Church of Christ led by Danny Brisebois, and the Quebec City Church of Christ

the Salt Lake Christian Church led by Jay Hernandez

the Santiago, Chile church led by Raul Moreno

the Eugene International Church of Christ

The November and October letters to Kip McKean were signed by many prominent ICC leaders with long associations with McKean, including four former World Sector Leaders (Al Baird, Andy Flemming, Marty Fuqua & Scott Green); the former head of the ICC's book publishing service, DPI (Tom Jones); the former head of the ICC's media service, Kingdom News Network (Roger Lamb, who was McKean’s co-minister in Charleston, IL in the 1970s); and the man who originally invited McKean to the Crossroads Church of Christ in 1972 (Sam Laing).

These letters followed a month after letters from three prominent ICC churches (among others) opposed McKean: the Boston Church of Christ, the Seattle Church of Christ, and the Phoenix Valley Church of Christ.



Letter from a Concerned Relative

Recently RightCyberUp received an interesting letter from the concerned relative of a current ICC member. He couldn’t help but notice the irony and hypocrisy of core ICC churches shunning Kip McKean in their initial October 3rd letter. Although this site usually doesn’t publish letters, this one deserves an exception:

Today I read the letter of rebuke written to Kip McKean. I suppose my focus should have been on Kip and the many infractions which called the letter into existence. And, I suppose the indignation arising in my heart should have been directed exclusively at this unscrupulous and arrogant man. At first that was the case. At first I was focused on Kip and my indignation was directed at this man exclusively. But as I read further something very interesting happened. I started feeling sympathy for Kip and my indignation was redirected toward those writing the letter and the institution which they were representing. I couldn't help but recall the words from Galations 6:7, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." As I read further, I began to sense that Kip is simply being true to what the system of the ICOC has made him. The system sowed arrogance by claiming it holds all the truth and every other "church" has no truth at all. The system sowed divisiveness when it taught its incoming disciples that everything their parents taught them regarding Christ is false and so is everything that their former religious organization taught. The system sowed the principles of unethical recruitment when it encouraged their evangelists to take members away from local denominational and non-denominational churches.

And because the system sowed this stuff, they are now reaping it. But they do not like what they are reaping. They want to deal out this high pressure arrogant spirituality; but when the tables turn, they don't want to be on the receiving end of it. It is my sense that those writing this letter are brow beating a man for being exactly what they taught him to be. They are reaping in the behavior of this man exacting what they sowed in recruiting him. How could they expect anything else. To me, it is an ironic twist; but I sense they simply don't get it. Was it not Jesus who once said: "If the blind lead the blind, they both will fall into the ditch”? That is my perception of what is happening. All of Kip's infractions notwithstanding, I have more feelings for him than I do for those indicting him. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Lest we give the wrong impression or risk getting misquoted, let’s be clear: we believe Kip McKean fits all the criteria of a cult leader and is a dangerous man. But we also have many concerns about the core ICC churches, their leadership, and the damage that can be inflicted on members and communities -- just as we have concerns about the congregations aligned with McKean.

Sources:
Brothers' Statement to Kip McKean, November 2, 2005.
Letter to Kip McKean from various Elders & Evangelists, October 3, 2005.
Portland International Church of Christ Leadership, "Concern For All The Churches," portlandchurch.org, circa October 14, 2005.

(1) Information compiled from list of affiliated churches on upsidedown21.org, October 6, 2005.

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Also from RightCyberUp.org:

ICC CHURCHES OPPOSE MCKEAN
Responding to ICC founder Kip McKean's "calling out of the remnant" from ICC churches, leaders of ICC's Boston, Seattle and Phoenix churches issued letters two months ago stating opposition to McKean's actions. You can read about them here:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/oppose.htm

I'LL FOLLOW KIP, SAYS JOHNSON
Former ICC World Sector Leader says he'll go with his mentor, McKean, in the current split:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/johnson.htm

KRIETE STANDS BY LETTER, SAYS ICC WAS A CULT
Two-and-a-half years after his "Honest to God" letter rocked the ICC, former ICC evangelist Henry Kriete stood by Honest to God in a follow up letter he wrote to Chicago Church of Christ elder Steve Staten. The only difference, he writes, is that his convictions have become stronger. Read more here:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/kriete2.htm

INSIDE THE ICC'S 20TH ANNIVERSARY MAGAZIINE
Henry Kriete says this 1999 issue of the movement's official newsletter shows the ICC was a cult. Readers can judge for themselves:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/lastory.htm

CONCERNS ABOUT TODAY'S ICC LEADERSHIP CULTURE
This article examines how today's ICC leadership culture endangers the movement's chances for healthy reform. Based on observations from the ICC's Seattle Leadership Conference and recent events, this new article says the ICC leadership's biggest probem is its own culture, not anything happening in Portland:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/culture.htm

WHAT IS MCKEANISM?
Kip McKean's teaching legacy decoded:
http://rightcyberup.org/links/mckeanism.htm

[Discussion with 2corinthians518.blogspot.com]
DISCUSSION BLOG WITH CURRENT MEMBER
A current member of a McKean-affiliated church posted this email discussion RightCyberUp.org had to a blog. It sounds like we came away disagreeing about just how dangerous Kip McKean is, but agreeing on several other things:
http://2corinthians518.blogspot.com/2005/10/e-mail-discussion.html

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Monday, October 10, 2005

Brother's Letter to Kip

The divisions continue. The blind accusing the blind.

Posted by sickid on ICCDF.


Letter http://www.usd21.org/1.0/media/kipfinal2.html

Kip's (Portland Elder's) brief response, with more to come:
http://www.usd21.org/1.0/index.php?langID=1&artID=56

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Date: October 3, 2005

To our dear brother Kip,
Brother, we thank God for our relationships with you as brothers in Christ. Some of us fondly remember over 30 years ago when we all became totally committed followers of Jesus as college students at the University of Florida. Others of us deeply love you for your calling us to be disciples of Jesus and to his mission of world evangelism. All of us are grateful to God for how he used you to help lead the unification of brothers and sisters from all parts of the restoration movement to build a movement that took the gospel around the world in such a short time. Your personal love for the lost and vision for us challenge us to obey the Word of God. Your convictions about discipleship, as well as your zeal and faith, have all been incredibly inspirational to us. We pray that the many ways God has used our love for him -- sacrifices, willingness to go anywhere, do anything and give up everything in numerous places around the globe -- have encouraged you.

We also thank God for the discipline and the grace that he has brought on our movement, showing us to be children he cares for. All of us have shared in the mountaintop experiences that have spread to all continents of souls being baptized into Christ through faith, churches being planted and relationships multiplying. We have also shared in the maturing hand of God showing us our mistakes and failures. We have all been humbled by God and are glad that we were able to confess our sins together and apologize to each other and to the people that we lead. Confession brings healing. Repentance brings a time of refreshing that only God can give (Acts 3:19). .

It has been a joy and a maturing experience to grow up in God's family together. Because of the depth of spiritual family relationships that we share and the way God has connected us as "supporting ligaments" in the body of Christ, we are writing this letter to you today.

God has used you in powerful ways to seek and save the lost and to plant churches around the world. He has given you an unusual mixture of talents that we admire. For those we are forever grateful. Those victories for God that you have led us to should always be to his glory and should never be disrespected or discarded

God has also disciplined you. As you have often said, God works his will through people. Disciples have made Jesus Lord and Savior, and have learned to speak the truth in love to confront sin out of concern for souls and for the body of Christ. After numerous personal conversations, discipleship groups, prayers and pleadings confronting you with the leadership sins in your life over a number of years, you resigned as the Lead Evangelist of the Los Angeles Church of Christ in November 2001. After more pleading and prayers, you resigned as Missions Evangelist and recognized leader for the International Churches of Christ in November 2002. We wept at your confession and were eagerly looking forward to your repentance. We were very hopeful in the Spirit that your repentance would produce "a harvest of righteousness 2nd peace." Yet, at the 2004 International Leadership Conference in Chicago, several brothers had to meet with you once again to ask you to repent of your arrogance and attitude towards other Christians. Recently, because of your unrepentant heart and actions, several churches have publicly rebuked and warned you about your divisiveness. You were also recently removed from the program of the 2005 International Leadership Conference and were removed from the planning group for next year's conference for being divisive. You responded by mocking these rebukes in your sermons and articles and by using your time at the 2005 ILC to recruit people to Portland and to your side. You have already begun to start your churches in other cities, not by evangelism, but by causing factions from existing churches. The Phoenix Valley Church elders have invoked God's Scriptures TO protect their flock from you (Acts 20:25-30). How can this be a repentance of YOUR continued sins of leadership?

You have consistently refused to repent of these sins when confronted. Because we love God first, we love you. We are more than willing to imitate Jesus in you. In the following areas we do not see Jesus and cannot imitate these things. Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Hebrews 13:7 We have often imitated your faith and are grateful. We have also considered the outcome of your way of life and we must confront you with your life.

Brother, we are writing this letter today because over a number of years leading up to and since your resignations, we have spoken privately and in groups with you about our concern that you have shown worldly sorrow and not godly sorrow. Many of us have spoken with you urgently in recent weeks because, instead of true repentance producing a harvest of righteousness and peace, your lack of repentance is producing a harvest of unrighteousness, dissension, confusion and division. You have refused to listen to us individually, so we came in love as groups of brothers in accord with the principle of Matthew 18. You have consistently said that you repented and changed and yet you have continued in the very behavior you claimed you repented of. In fact, you have worn many of us out in our confrontation of your sins. You have rationalized your sins by pointing to your baptisms and church growth. Those are evidences of the grace of God with those new Christians. Paul himself pointed out that people who are preaching the gospel out of envy, rivalry and selfish ambition can still help people become Christians (Philippians 1: 15- 18). The Scriptures are clear as to our responsibility to you and to the people of God. It is very sad to us that though you are a hero in the faith to us in many ways, you have not matured spiritually.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." Matthew 18:15-17
Many of us signing this letter have confronted you personally and in groups with your sin over a number of years. We are now bringing other brothers who have also signed this letter as witnesses of your sins. They are in agreement with this call to repentance.

Following are sins that you have publicly and in print claimed that you repented of -- something we have all so much wanted to believe.

You confessed all of these sins in Revolution Through Restoration Part 3, pages 4-7. (2003). You have confessed them in bulletin articles and in sermons. You were confronted with your lack of repentance in a meeting with several of us at the Chicago International Leadership Conference in September of 2004. Yet you continue to consistently live in these sins. Through the private communication of this letter, we are asking you one more time to have godly sorrow and to show your repentance by your deeds. If you do not listen and do not show godly sorrow, then you give us no choice but to take your continued sins to our family of churches around the world in the hopes that you will listen to them and repent of these sins.

1. Pride, Arrogance and Anger:

"During the sabbatical, God taught me to take full responsibility for my leadership in the kingdom, the decisions of the World Sector Leaders and for the spiritual condition of each person in my family. My sins are clear and grievous. I have been arrogant, almost always thinking I was right. I did not listen. I did not actively seek discipling for me and my family. I was only partially open and deceit came into my life. This led to the sin of anger towards those who disagreed with me. Too often, I viewed these individuals as critical. I did not draw people out. I built an atmosphere in which people were afraid to speak up. There were times when I corrected people that I was mean, cruel and I even humiliated them. I was too controlling. For this l apologize. I am truly sorry."

"Ultimately, my most devastating sin was claiming God's victory as mine. In pride, I boasted in "my" accomplishments. I allowed people to give me glory; I did not refocus them to God."

Brother, we are glad you have acknowledged these sins, but we do not see change in you beyond mere surface changes to satisfy people for the moment. We would also add that you not only allow people to give you the glory, you encourage it and reward them for it as in the most recent Portland Jubilee.

You have said publicly that you repented of your arrogance. At the Portland Church Builder Conference, shortly after you said you had repented of your arrogance and pride, you said, "I can fix any church." When you were recently asked privately if you were willing to be a team player with other brothers in cooperative leadership, your response was, "You don't understand. I am the star."

Your writing, your sermons and your website consistently contain unseemly, immature and unwholesome self-promotion and propaganda. It took multiple conversations from many of us before you ever commended any church but your own. You say publicly that you have repented of lifting yourself up, yet almost every bulletin article is about you and your ministry. Your entire view of our fellowship centers around who is with you and who is against you. This is unrighteous, unspiritual, immature and even irrational.

2. Disrespect, Gossip, Slander and Condemnation Towards Churches and Disciples

In Boston the Gempels and Bairds helped us build "family" in the church. However, gradually, in the LA years, my constant short-term growth goals created pressure on the ministry staff that translated to hurtful pressure on members. When combined with a legalistic mindset, disciples were made to feel they could never measure up, too often wondering if they were fruitful or even saved. This robbed them of their joy as disciples. In seeing the need to build a model church, I wrongly compelled far too many good leaders and other disciples from numerous congregations to move to LA. The problem was exacerbated because I did not communicate my gratitude to these other churches, and then I expected them to duplicate our efforts after taking some of their most effective soul winners. For this I am deeply sorry. (From Revolution Through Restoration 3, page 7)

Many of us have confronted you with the numerous ways you continue to slander and hurt the churches you helped build. You admittedly compelled them to give millions of dollars and hundreds of Bible Talk Leaders to fulfill noble dreams and then turned around and condemned those churches for not growing like your church did with their resources. This alone was incredulous. For the last two years, you have been confronted with your continued disrespectful writings about other churches, many of whom are hurting precisely because of the results of many of the sins you confessed. Yet you continue to judge and condemn disciples and churches because they are not like your church. It is difficult to imagine how a humble and contrite leader could possibly write the condemning and disparaging words that you have written. You have become like the father who continually exasperates his children and then condemns them for not wanting a relationship with him.

Brother, for years we have appealed to you to be more careful about your tongue. Yet you admittedly continue to publish statements about churches based on one-sided conversations and hearsay. You are careless with the truth. You are reckless with words. You use what you hear to promote a point of view you want to believe - that our family of churches cannot succeed without your personal leadership. You continually talk about the reports you hear from people in other churches who are hurting. Yet we never hear about your calling the church in that city to even verify the information or to inquire about the person who was calling. (See #3 below.) Despite being admonished to the contrary on many occasions, you do not seek "both sides of the story" regarding these churches and their lasting relationships (Proverbs 18:17).

It is obvious to most that you praise those who are clearly aligned with you or others whom you are trying to persuade to your position. You have praised small churches that have joined themselves with you and emphasized their few baptisms, but fail to mention the churches that have continued to be planted in the last few years or other churches who are growing and baptizing (examples like the church in Nairobi, Kenya that have had 182 baptisms in the first eight months of 2005). As well as the need for repentance and healing in many of our churches, many good news reports and a deep desire for unity were broadly acknowledged by the 800 attendees to the 2005 ILC. This has been your persistent behavior for as long as we have known you

3. Ungodly Ethics

Recently you were confronted with involving yourself in other churches while disrespecting the existing relationships of those churches. Two examples are the churches in Montreal, Canada and in Santiago, Chile. Your response was, "I would rather ask for forgiveness than permission." We renounce this ethic as ungodly and a deliberate sin. It is the epitome of the thinking that says, "The end justifies the means." If Jesus had thought this way, he would never have been able to be our Savior. We cannot believe the apostles or early church leaders lived or led in such a political, unethical way.

You give deceitful impressions. You are not willing to be discipled by any other peer or group of peers. You continue to give the deceitful impression that you are being discipled and have strong and respected men in your life; you publish names of people you are supposedly accountable to. But we all know that you have not demonstrated a consistent humility toward any brother who has been in your life for a long time and who knows your sins. Again, this deception is another example of ungodly ethics.

4. Hatred, Discord, Jealousy, Selfish Ambition, Dissensions, Factions and Envy (Galatians 5:19-21)

For years, while many aspects of your leadership have been admirable, a well-known part of your leadership has been to pit people against each other competitively and to discredit others who might rival you for people's loyalty. This is sinful.

You have admitted to these sins in the past. You have reaped the fruit of these sins. Yet, when asked what your ideas are for unifying us once again and helping our churches to heal, mature and return to our mission, your answer is to go back and do what you did in the 1980s. You are in fact attempting to do just that. If you continue on this course, you will build some churches. And you will reap the same short-term attractive results and the same long-term painful results. You must repent and learn how to work with other leaders in true adult to adult relationships. You are no longer a young man with lack of experience for an excuse.

In your private conversations, in your public proclamations and on your new website conceived to carry your message, you continue to lift yourself up (Proverbs 27:2) and to cause division. No commendable person in the Bible talks about himself as much as you do. Even as recently as the 2005 International Leadership Conference in Seattle, you spent much of your time trying to draw people to you and turn them against their existing relationships. In your Portland Story article printed on August 21,2005, you said,

However, as of this Jubilee the Portland leadership believes it is time for a progressive "calling-out of the remnant of disciples" from dying, former ICOC Churches. For years, I have preached "one church-one city;" in other words, each city should have only one church of disciples, because if they are faithful to God, He will multiply them to evangelize not only their city but the whole region. (Acts 19:8-10) I still believe in this same principle. Sadly, it has become the practice of some former ICOC churches to break-up into geographic groups or groups of various convictions about commitment to Christ, discipling and church government. If a group asks for help to restore the foundation of sold-out disciples, we will help in any way we can. Biblically, disciples can never rebel against authority, yet as seen with David who "chose" to transfer his allegiance from the ungodly Saul to the uncircumcised Achish (1 Samuel 27: 1-4) one is "free to choose" whom to submit to!

In the fall the Portland leadership will begin to seek out church leaderships in congregations that are struggling to ask if we can help them build a foundation of sold-out disciples. If they are not inclined to receive help, then we will offer help to any group that would prefer to be in a new congregation composed of only sold-out disciples. To the casual observer, this may look like "two churches in one city." Yet, in time it will be obvious who has God's approval

In actuality, there are many churches around the world that are more mature, and are providing an overall more mature and spiritual example than the Portland Church. There are also churches who are devastated. Many churches are helping these hurting churches, but you consistently fail to recognize this because they have not directly aligned themselves with you or asked you for help.

Brother, we hope and believe that you would be the first to vehemently oppose the arrogance and 'divisiveness in these comments if they were from anyone else but yourself. You have made known to the world your disregard for anyone's ability to help any other church except yourself. Most mature people who have known you the best over the last 20 to 30 years are the ones who have lost confidence in your spiritual life. Instead of accepting the reasons they give for their lack of confidence (your unrepented sins), you instead turn it around on them, blame them and trust your own analysis. (Proverbs 14: 12)

You have never built a large church without pulling people from other churches. In your personal ministries, the fires exposed that much of them was built with wood, hay and straw instead of gold and silver (1 Corinthians 3: 12-15). The firestorm that went through our churches in the last few years has revealed what was built well and what was destroyed. Your calls for unity are only sounded when they lead to loyalty to you. Now you have twisted an obscure Scripture to call for disloyalty and rebellion in churches that are healing and are trying to rebuild. This is immature, immoral and unrighteous.

Biblically, disciples can never rebel against authority, yet as seen with David who "chose" to transfer his allegiance from the ungodly Saul to the uncircumcised Achish. (1 Samuel 27:l-4) One is "free to choose" whom to submit to!
(From The Portland Story,August 21, 2005)

It does not take a prophet to know that many of our churches have been hurting. And yet, many are either on the road to recovery and revival or desire to be. Others have given up on basic biblical teaching, and certainly need to be helped to get back to the Scriptures. But we do not believe that they represent the majority. We are devoted to building up the churches, serving them and calling them to following Jesus. We are committed to the Lordship of Jesus, to helping our churches mature spiritually and to evangelizing the world in cooperation with each other. However, we must also do what we can to protect them from your ungodly and divisive intentions which you have made clear in The Portland Story, in your refusal to retract the article and in your actions since the article.

The Phoenix Valley Church leadership has called the disciples there to recommit their lives to God and to the church by asking them to sign letters of commitment. Yet you and your members have recently initiated the beginning of a new church in Phoenix and have called members of the Phoenix church in an attempt to pull them away into this new church. If you were "making every
effort to keep the unity of the spirit" (Ephesians 4:3), you would not do this. If you were not intending to divide, you would not do this. Your actions and your words demonstrate that your intention is to draw people to yourself. (Acts 20:30) God's Word commands us to be faithful to our duties as evangelists and shepherds of God's flock. And you have often challenged evangelists and elders to obey God's Word and protect the flock. Sadly, even though God has used you in tremendous ways through the years, we refuse to sentimentally let you distort the Word of God. We must be faithful to our charge without favoritism.

In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:1-5

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears. Acts 20:28-31

I Charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism. 1 Timothy 5:21

The Elders of the Phoenix Church have opposed you with these very Scriptures that you have advocated for years. (See the Phoenix Church website.)

We must protect those who are drawn to your great qualities and are naive as to your unrepented sins. You are confusing and exploiting many who are young, as well as those who are unaware of your past sins. Many disciples have no knowledge of the depth of the impact of your sins because we chose to confront you privately about these things and have chosen not to share these things publicly. Although in most of these conversations you were defensive and prideful, time was given for you to have a change of heart and a godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7: 11-ff). At other times, you would apologize and promise change, only to blatantly commit the same sins again and again. You have been confronted privately many times by many different people. As a group, we have now reached a conviction that more than enough time has passed for you to repent. If you do not repent and confess your sins immediately, we must tell those who are unaware in order to protect them from your sins. May you heed the words of Jesus himself:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 'But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! . . . See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:l-7, 10


5. Worldly Sorrow

We understand that you have endured much sorrow. For the times you have endured sorrow for righteousness, we admire you. However, we call you to get rid of your bitterness, resentment and self-pity (Ephesians 4:31). We admonish you to repent of worldly sorrow. As your brothers and friends, we beg you to repent by your making your godly sorrow undeniably clear.

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 2 Corinthians 7:10-11

We rejoice that you are zealous for souls. Sadly, we also find you to continue to be zealous for your opinions and your own leadership, and stubbornly set on your selfish ambition. In direct contradiction to this passage, we rather continue to see in you:

Short-lived sincerity, great eagerness to defend yourself, indignation at others instead of at your own sin, alarm at the condition of the church but little concern for your own arrogance, concern for others as long as they suit your plans, and blaming your discipline and your bitterness on other people. At nearly every point you have proved yourself to be unrepentant in these matters.

You have often taught and expected others to show godly sorrow. You teach that whole churches can repent quickly, but how can you demand repentance from other churches when you yourself do not repent for years?

The good-hearted early disciples demonstrated godly sorrow.

When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" Acts 2:36
First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds. Acts 26:20

We challenge you to make your life match your teaching and your doctrine. Because we have had so many conversations with you about these things over many, many years, and so that you clearly know there is a way for you to repent, we challenge you to repent in these specific ways:

Print, publicly apologize for and stop:

Your continued pride, arrogance and anger.
Your selfish ambition, seeking to be first and continually drawing attention to yourself in your sermons, your publications and your conversations.
Judging and condemning other churches. As pointed out in the Seattle letter to you, the slander towards the New York City Church was never repented of. Numerous other examples litter your writings and speeches.
Blaming other people for many of the problems you helped author that are making many of our churches weak.
Causing division among faithful Christians by "calling out the remnant" and starting churches where there are existing churches of disciples.
Recruiting people to move to Portland and dividing people from their church families in order to start new congregations in the same city.
Blaming other people for the problems in your own family.
The immoral ethics of sinning deliberately now and asking for forgiveness later.

Take these steps to turn around and guard your heart for the future:
Identify a group of five of your lifelong peers who have confronted you on your sin and whom you are willing to submit to for discipling your life, your heart and your ministry.
Use your website to promote all people, churches and messages that are biblical and that are advancing the gospel in any way.
Build your ministry through planting and watering in your own city. Renounce recruiting and playing politics with the ministry.
Regularly invite into your ministry mature brothers who know you well, will speak the truth in love and who are committed to brotherhood unity, biblical doctrine and to evangelism.
Publish a statement with the approval of the five brothers in your peer discipling group (see # 1) affirming:
Your repentance and godly sorrow
Your commitment to cooperate with other churches who have the same convictions without your claiming a leadership role and without your having to dominate others.
Your commitment to each of the above on this repentance list.
Reconcile with the churches you have offended.

We are praying for you not to give in to Satan's temptation to respond to this rebuke with worldly sorrow. By our experience with you in the past many years, if you are unrepentant, you will do the following:
Be indignant that we would correct you because of all you have done for God and for us. We appeal to you to hear that we would not go to this length if we did not love you. And we appeal to you to not hate correction. He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray. Proverbs 10:17
Play the martyr. Please do not demean the cross of Jesus by portraying yourself as being crucified. You are being rebuked as God directs us to. You charged many of us with being evangelists who were willing to preach the Word without favoritism. We have all been rebuked and challenged to repent. We must expect the same mature repentance from you. See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. Hebrews 3:12
Blame this rebuke on us, Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? Galatians 4:16
Plan a strategic, political, response to our rebuke. We have no interest in politics. We are only interested in upholding God's honor, in your soul and the souls of those affected by your sins. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32.
Use this rebuke to further divide churches and cause divisions, factions and dissensions that result in more followers for you.
Ignore our rebuke and call for us to repent, thus throwing the issues back on us.
Completely ignore our call to repentance.

Our Motivation

We want to clearly state our motivation. You are not our enemy. You are our brother.

(Ephesians 6:12)
We are concerned first for your soul. What we have learned from God , , and the Scriptures leads us to love you enough to call you to repentance for your sake.
We are concerned for your family. We pray for all your children to return to God. We know that your own spiritual life is a great key to that.
We are concerned for those faithful people in our churches who are strong. We are concerned that they know the truth so you will not be a stumbling block to them as you have been to many before.
We are concerned for those who are weak. You said you repented of your lack of concern for them. We beg you to prove it by your deeds.
We are concerned for the churches you will build in the future. If you sow the same seeds, you will reap the same problems (Galatians 6:7-8). If you build with the same hay and straw, another fire will burn it up in the future.
Forgiveness

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14,15

All who are signing this letter have already forgiven you in our hearts. Our only expectation is repentance on your part. We stand ready to continually repent on our part.

Our Convictions:

So that you will clearly understand and so that you will not misrepresent us, we state our belief in the following convictions and are diligently and vigorously working to disciple them into our own churches. We don't want Satan to tempt you or your people to think that a lack of conviction motivates this reproof. We fervently believe in:

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, our Lord and Savior
The Bible is the Word of God and is the authority for our life.
Jesus called all men to become his disciples, be baptized into his body and to be taught to obey.
Every disciple is to be totally committed to God, His Kingdom and to Jesus as Lord and Savior.
Every disciple is called to participate in the Great Commission of Jesus
Every disciple is called to obey the one another passages of Scripture.
Every disciple is called to maintain the Spirit of unity in the bond of peace.
Every disciple is called to follow the Greatest Commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.

We commit to do everything in our power that is godly to help unify our churches, to mature them and to reach the world with the gospel.

We would love to do this together with you. Please humble yourself, repent and join us.

Love in Christ always,

Javier Amaya Los Angeles USA
Ed Bahula Toronto Canada
Al Baird Los Angeles USA
Martin Bentley Orlando USA & South America
Tom Brown Los Angeles USA
Ron Brumley Seattle USA
John Brush South Florida USA
John Causey Los Angeles USA
Jeff Chacon San Diego USA
Steve Chin Taipei Taiwan
Duncan Comrie Johannesburg S. Africa
Malcolm Cox London England
Brian Felushko Vancouver Canada
Thierry Fender Geneva Switzerland
Gordon Ferguson Phoenix USA
Mike Fontenot Virginia Beach USA
Andy Fleming Los Angeles USA
Herve Fleurant Denver USA
Blaise Feumba Abidjan Ivory Coast & West Africa
Marty Fuqua Los Angeles USA
Anthony Galang Los Angeles USA
Scott Green Seattle USA
Kevin Holland Los Angeles USA
Bill Hooper Dallas USA
Douglas Jacoby Atlanta USA
Jake Jensen Los Angeles USA
Tom Jones Nashville USA
Jay Kelly Seattle USA
Sam Laing Athens USA
Philip Lam Hong Kong China
Roger Lamb Chicago USA
Cesar Lopez Manila Philippines
John Louis Singapore Singapore & SE Asia
John Lusk St. Louis USA
Michael Luzine Toronto Canada
Kevin Mains Los Angeles USA
Gregg Marutzky Denver USA
Chip Mitchell Boston USA
Steve Mukenya Nairobi Africa
Reese Neyland Los Angeles USA
Daren Overstreet Seattle USA
John Porter Miami USA
Sam Powell New York City USA
Chris Reed Denver USA
Justin Renton Cape Town S. Africa
John Reus South Florida USA & South America
Kevin Robbins Toronto Canada
Mike Rock Los Angeles USA
Steve Saindon Minneapolis USA
Charlie Sawyer Kansas City USA
Wyndham Shaw Boston USA
Tony Singh Chicago USA
Rob Skinner Ashland, Oregon USA
Steve Staten Chicago USA
Jerry Sugarman Los Angeles USA
Peti Szabad Budapest Hungary
Greg Tacher Seattle USA
MikeTaliaferro San Antonio USA
Marty Udall Toronto Canada
Mike Vassallo Melbourne Australia
Bruce Williams Los Angeles USA
Tomm Wilson Chicago USA

---
Kip's Response

Urgent Concern
John 8:3-9 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
This past week Kip McKean received a letter that was signed by many brothers in our fellowship. Due to its length and scope, as well as the seriousness of the accusations, each Portland House Church Leader, Staff Member and Elder-In-Training will review the document and pray to God for humility and wisdom as we determine how to respond. The letter was prefaced by a request to reply within three days. In order to satisfy that deadline, we will take time to pray for a biblical, godly, and righteous response as opposed to a reactionary or retalitorial one. We are grateful for how God has blessed our ministry and for all the sacrificial ways that Kip and Elena has served our congregation. Our ultimate goal is to honor God and to please Him.

At this point we will post this critical letter on both of our websites for three reasons; First, to inform others, Secondly, because it has already been sent to most recognized and regarded evangelists worldwide, and three due to the fact that we were informed it would be posted on “Disciples Today” by Friday.

As soon as feasible, a more thorough response will be written and posted. Please consider what has been written and pray for us and the McKeans.

In Humility,
Bob Bertalot and Tony Untalan
Elders in Training

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Lisa Johnson's Comments on the Abuses

She says she thought incidents of abuse were "isolated." Very similar to what the ICOC automatons say now.

Compare Lisa Johnson's quotes from 1990 vs. right after the HK letter (1990 taken from the rightcyberup website)

"Now this – I mean this sisters. I mean this, this is from the bottom of my heart. This is what I came to say today, to you. I believe that you have quit believing that grace will motivate people. You, personally. Take it personally. Take it individually. I believe that is one of the major problems in our movement, today. We must see it. I’ve seen the dangers, the abuses, the results of it, it is horrendous, it is sickening, it is frightening. We have got to trust that grace motivates people. We don’t need the things that we use to motivate people....

“I’m at the point where I feel like we just need to shut up and read the Bible. That it’s getting dangerous some of the things we tell each other, some of the things that we’ve done. I’m upset and I’m scared about it. I think that we have got to make a decision to repent. You know, the abuses are amazing – we begin to crystallize things – we’ve talked about it before, but sisters it’s time to change it.”

Lisa Johnson (World Sector Leader – Women), Crashing Through The Quitting Places: Discipleship, Women’s Retreat, Boston, audio tape, 1990. (about audio clips)

Now 13 years in the 2003 letter she claims she didn't know it was happening in NY (taken from her apology letter which can be found on the web).

"I'm sorry for believing (chokes) the New York church was different, that we only had isolated incidences of pain and hurt and abuse. I even thought that I was different..."

Both Lisa's and Steve's letters are here: http://www.newcovpub.com/icc/johnson_apology.htm

One could say that the first quote was in Boston and not NY (her own church) but I don't recall hearing much from her between 1990 to present about the church wide abuse issues. Did anyone else? She did see it back in 1990.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCDiscussion/messages?msg=12829.1

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Saturday, February 07, 2004

An Insider's Open Letter to Steve Johnson - Ken Carlstedt
Read on. From ICC DF. Ken Carlstedt and his wife Jeri assisted the Johnsons for many years in the NYC church, and have seen more of the Johnsons' lifestyle than most people. Thus his words hold much weight not just in terms of its moral indignation but his personal knowledge of SJ's life.

Also referenced are SJ's deceitful comments about himself as a "poor preacher," not only to the church but also to a City Beat reporter. Full text article is included.

After two decades of amassing a fortune while leading the New York Church of Christ, Steve Johnson is technically now a millionaire-- since the equity on his house alone is just shy of a million.

With the on-line heat coming down hard on Steve, he's about to hurriedly skip town with his loot to lead and direct the finances of an unsuspecting church in Savannah, Georgia.

In this atmosphere, insider Ken Carlstedt posted a powerful letter on one of the many threads discussing Steve's shady dealings and luxurious lifestyle.

The thread is called

Steve Johnson: 'My house is kinda junky.'

Ken Carlstedt was responding to an old newspaper article I dug out and posted. In this article, Steve Johnson slickly and deceptively claimed to be living a modest lifestyle, with no misappropriation of funds, etc.

Ken's letter was/is so powerful and credible in the way it calls Steve on his b.s.---i.e. the letter's damaging truth comes from a high-up insider/confidante of Steve Johnson's, not an oustide observer like myself.

As such, Ken's letter deserves a thread of its own. Here goes:

-------------------AN OPEN LETTER FROM KEN CARLSTEDT----------------
---------------------------TO STEVE JOHNSON-----------------------

Dear Steve J.,

This message is directly to you, not really a response to the poster.

Steve, do you understand the deception you practiced? If so, you have never confessed openly, so I will help you see it, again.

Let's keep it simple. 'When the impression you work hard to give is intended to cover up reality, that is called deception.'

Steve, you remember that you intentionally planted too many trees and shrubs in front of your house, and let things get overgrown, even with Buzz around who is an excellent gardener and had indeed done miraculous gardening at his house.

You did this specifically to make it look like a normal little house, or even a bit quirky and less than normal, that certainly wouldn't look like anything 'special' or 'lavish' from the front. You worked hard to create that impression.

You will remember that one of the things that pleased you about that particular house, back when we all moved to Rockland together in the early and mid-1990's, was that it had an appearance from the front as a modest little house. You and Lisa were glad to find a house that 'looked small from the street' because you believed this would help shield you and your family from the questions that were coming up about the apartment on 98th street, the lavish decorations provided for you mostly free of charge from you know who, the 'intricate' but probably fully legal (since minor shadings of the truth are rarely prosecutable) ways that you and he financed it, etc.

'You dreaded those questions then as you are dreading the questions in the past year. Don't you see the pattern here? What does it mean when someone gets defensive? Remind yourself of your own teachings, and heal thyself.

Steve, you do remember that in close proximity to the time you were on the phone giving the interview referenced in this thread, there were stoneworkers, construction people, cement pourers, fireplace experts, and other kinds of work being done, on the back of the house, out of site from the street. Or, at least, you were well into the planning stages of how to put your investment gains into your house.

You need to be in touch with reality enough to remember that these home improvements cost you in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Do we need to name names, and quote prices paid, to help you remember?

Steve, why are you willing to give the impression of running and hiding out? Could it be that you ARE running and hiding out again, without admitting this even to yourself?

Steve, please come forward openly and publicly, as you committed personally to me that you would do, about one year ago almost to this day, in my basement, about everything.

At the very least, if you can't bring yourself to come clean about everything, then come clean about these specific issues. Open up publicly about the improvements you made to your home and the money you used to make them. Give all the details, don't hold anything back. You see, when you are a public leader accepting public money as pay (church members are the public in this case), then the public does indeed have a right to know your finances, especially given the clear impression of impropriety.

Do you understand there is a clear impression of impropriety here? You need to, if you don't. It doesn't matter that some of your best friends are telling you to not worry about it. You need to ignore them and do the right thing.

More than that: 'When the impression you are working hard to give is intended to cover up reality, that is called deception.'

You will likely loose your soul if you continue refusing to come clean. Whatever you do or don't do, I will pray that God will be merciful to you, but my hope for you is not strong if you persist. You know the right thing to do and have refused to do it, wreaking havoc around you, exactly and precisely as we discussed a year ago.

Steve, I am not persecuting you. You are simply in need of coming clean. You and I both know it, and so many others who know you well know it. Telling you that truth is the best thing I can do for you.

Summarize it for yourself, it may be easier to see that way. Say it to yourself: 'I was a minister in a rapidly growing, dynamic, financially-surging organization. Lots and lots of perks came my way because of my position in the organization and because of the way I was discipled, and chose to follow, to handle people around me in that position.'

Steve, just come clean about all this, it's so simple. Perhaps most people could still forgive you, although I can speak for no one but myself.

Lots of love,

Ken

________________________________________________________________

Here's a link to Ken's letter in the context of the thread:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCdiscussion/messages/?msg=10358.3

Here's a link to the initial post Ken was responding to:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCdiscussion/messages/?msg=10358.1

Finally, here's a transcript of that initial post:

________________________________________________________________

STEVE JOHNSON: My house is kind of junky.

... or so he put it to a reporter in 2000 while defending his ownership of the house currently being discussed on the forum———the fireplace in-the-bathroom digs now featured in photos being viewed on the forum.

It's from an article I dug out of the TOLC files.

In the same article, Steve Johnson also plays the role of the poor preacher with other comments:

1) Regarding his unimpressive cars———one that he's forced to share with his father-in-law; regarding other car, Steve sheepishly describes it this way:

It will go fast... when it's running.

2) Regarding the home itself: he bought it for only $123,000, and that was with help from my father-in-law;

3) Regarding his salary, he refuses to discuss it. Instead he ducks the question with the glib comeback, If I ever get rich, it won't be because of the church. It'll be because I won the lottery.

4) Regarding the uncomfortable questions being put to him over the phone, Steve jokingly compares himself to Jesus and the reporter to one of Jesus' crucifiers. Steve tell the reporter to hold on to the phone\ while he gets the reporter some more nails to crucify me with.
________________________________________________________________

TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN WORDS COMING BACK TO HAUNT YOU!!!

It's a classic

Here's the link:

http://www.tolc.org/nybeat.htm

Here's an excerpt:

CITY BEAT Reporter: (Steve Johnson) will get serious when talk turns to faith, or to allegations that he and other leaders in the church——— where weekly tithing is required———lead lavish lifestyles.

For several years, Johnson lived in a three-bedroom, 2,200-square foot condo on W. 98th St. that today would probably fetch more than $1 million. But Johnson said he never owned the apartment and moved out several years ago after the owner, a friend, 'went belly up in the real estate market and had to sell.'

Johnson bought a four-bedroom house in West Nyack, Rockland County, for a reported $123,000 with help from his father-in-law, he said. 'It's kind of junky,' said Johnson, an assertion not disproved by photographs. (Those are photos OF THE OUTSIDE, during the FALL OF 2000... DUDE)

Last week, workers could be seen repairing water damage to the two-story home. Outside were parked the three cars registered to Johnson: 1997 Ford Expedition, a 1975 pickup truck that Johnson said he shares with his father-in-law, and a 1989 Ford Mustang that Johnson said 'will go fast, when it's running.'

When asked, Johnson refused to detail his salary. But he did give this assurance: 'If I ever get rich, it won't be because of the church. It'll be because I won the lottery.'

RELEVANT HISTORICAL LINKS:
Leadership Lifestyles

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Friday, October 24, 2003

Will the Leaders Ever Understand How Cruel They Were?


You reap what you sow. A response to a former WML who wrote about returning to the secular world.

This is one of the most powerful posts I've read: about a leader who writes about her realizations, about returning to a normal working life and learning how "privileged," and Cruel, her life was as an ICOC minister. It was not the sacrifice that she believed it was.


I wonder how many of these leaders now, among those who are scrambling to keep their salaries and benefits, who are crushed with their own self pity over what has "happened," can ever come to a full understanding of the "sins," the injustice, the evil they had ultimately perpetrated.


I really believe these people live the grand delusion. I was talking with a friend who said that Summer McKean had a "nervous breakdown." Some members had accused her of racism (my friend said she believed Summer to be more elitist, than racist). Well, no wonder. The woman had been raised to believe this illusory, insane life was right, was good, was sacrificial. People who have never had a "pre-ICC" life, and fully embraced the church's system - how lost! A person who was cruel, who deserves all the enemies in the world. How dare she have any pity for herself. I sure would not want to be in her shoes. But how can you deny the injustice in her life as well?


It takes a person with incredibly strong character, backbone, and conscience - not in the ICC way but in the truest way - to resist this brainwashing and do what is right. Even more when you are raised in the church. Obviously Summer did not have this. I admire the fact that Olivia had the backbone to eventually leave, though I know it was difficult for her.


I have to say, so many people lose in this situation. The leaders who are still comfortable do not suffer now, but I am certain their reward for their cruelty - the wrath of "God" or whoever it is - is not finished, is coming to them, and I do not feel any pity for them.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCdiscussion/messages?msg=6122.92 "Why Leaders Must Get Out"

The original post:

Letter from long-time annonymous former staff person:


As background in case you don't know me - I was baptized in XXX in
l9XX, moved to XXX on the mission team in XX, worked as a XXXX for XXX, then went into the ministry at XX years old. My husband and I married in XX, and we moved wherever we were asked (more times than I can count), and sold everything to move Overseas for XX years before returning to the U.S. and coming to back to U.S.


We resigned from the ministry after over many years. I felt so much pressure to produce numbers, look a certain way, dress a certain way, have a beautiful home, make the stage at church beautiful, have beautiful people singing on stage, etc. - in short, a lot of emphasis on all the wrong things, but I didn't realize it at the time.


Having been in the ministry for a long time, and now having worked in
secular jobs for over XX years, I feel I have a unique perspective. I had no idea while I was in the ministry how out of touch I was with what "real" or "normal" (for lack of a better word) lives were.


I don't think anyone who has been in the ministry for years, especially if they went into the ministry straight out of college and never worked, can really grasp this until you've experienced it. I cannot emphasize enough to not underestimate how difficult it is to change the way you have thought when you have been in the ministry for years & years.


I hadn't taught in the Sunday school program since l983, although I had counselled (and corrected and rebuked) people on their attitudes about teaching. I had no idea what it was like when Wednesday night classes ran late, and what it was like to try to pick up the pieces of 2 tired children on Thursday morning at 6:45 trying to get them to school.


After only my first week working at the Medical Center as a XX for 12 hour shifts, the realization hit me how demanding I had thought my schedule was when I was on staff - now every day was much more intense than that staff meeting Tuesday as I went to work, tried to cook dinner before I left in the morning, arranged childcare for my children, etc. I was used to always being right, always having my opinion be the right one, telling people what to do all day long, and thinking I always knew better.


After resigning, it was the best thing that ever happened to us to stay where we had led (not go somewhere else, and certainly not to go somewhere else and accept another ministry job! that certainly wouldn't fit the definition of resignation) and learn the MANY lessons that we needed to learn. It was humbling and difficult to be on the other side of the pulpit, but you get a different, and very valuable view from there.


It's hard to explain the mindset that occurs when you have been in the
ministry for a long time. I really thought that being in the ministry was the only thing worth doing, that only the "best" people could do it, and so I looked down on everyone else for not being "sharp" enough to be in the ministry.


I was used to always being right, making judgements about big, little and totally unimportant things and expecting the people around me to do things my way, always having people help me with my responsibilities in life, being able to delegate anything I didn't want to do, having babysitters always readily available, using people to get my goals accomplished and make me look good (although at the time I thought it was sincere and best for them), etc. The pride and arrogance were overwhelming.


It has taken years to understand that no one else in the church has this carte blanche lifestyle. (We could sure use some of those babysitters now!!)


Recently, a couple we are close to came to us asking for a short term loan to be able to buy their child glasses. The husband has a full time job and a masters degree and the wife works part time. It hit me this is how most of the middle class in the United States lives - one thing goes wrong (a broken transmission, needing new glasses, an unexpected medical bill) and you are unable to meet your financial obligations. When you're in the ministry, all of your needs are met: medical insurance (even co-pays), mileage allowances for travel, expense account allowances for housing and entertainment, and so you are shielded from this kind of financial pressure.


So we asked people to be sacrificial, when really we weren't experiencing any real kind of financial sacrifice ourselves, as all of our needs were always met.


Myself, as well as all of the "old-timers" who have been in the ministry for years, have built a crumbling mess. It has not been easy to "fix" me (especially my thinking) and even after 4 years out of the ministry, I'm still not "fixed" because I have been trained in elitism, arrogance, harshness, judgementalism, and pride.


I am extremely concerned about the rushing stampede to hire Sam Laing to come to Athens. It is obvious the many strengths that Sam and Geri have to offer - their marriage, family, counselling ability, etc. But, from my viewpoint after having been in the ministry for over 1/3 of my life, having had 32 years in the ministry is not a plus, but a serious minus.


I have nothing against Sam & Geri Laing, but I have seen the mindset, priviledges, lifestyle and thought process that a leader on his "level" or "tier" in the ICOC system has been steeped in. I also believe many of these mindsets will not even be obvious to Sam for a long time, because we have been thoroughly indoctrinated in that way of thinking.


I believe that Sam is sincere in wanting to repent and that the Triangle church in many ways wasn't as oppressive or controlling as some of the ICOC churches have been, yet it will take time, and many painful conversations, to learn a new way of thinking and dealing with people. Leaving a church after resigning to come somewhere else without staying and learning the lessons there is a red flag to me too. I don't even think it is possible to know what those lessons might even be except with the passing of time.


I haven't seen any evidence of repentance, or even openness, about finances or leaders lifestyles. And although it hasn't been said, I wonder if this rush to hire the Laings has a lot to do with when their severance package expires. I don't want the church to make any huge decisions rashly and without everyone feeling great about the decisions, especially because of money issues.


http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCdiscussion/messages?msg=6122.1 "Why Leaders Must Get Out"

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Sunday, October 12, 2003

Confession of a Former ICOC Evangelist

This is a truly amazing testimonial by Gustavo Sassano of the Buenos Aires, Argentina church. He was a full-time ministry leader for almost 13 years (March 1989 to November 2001).


My name is Gustavo Sassano, from Buenos Aires, Argentina. I was a full-time ministry leader in the International Church of Christ (ICOC) for almost 13 years, from March 1989 to November 2001. I am sharing my story because I want to tell people about the destructive practices that I committed and false doctrines that I taught when I was a leader in the church. I want to confess my sins and educate people about the danger of the organization that I believe is a cult. This is my story.
I was converted in 1988 (recruited) when I was 23 years old in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I was studying Law in the university of Buenos Aires. A friend of mine, who was working with me, invited me to a Bible discussion. It took me seven months to get baptized. I was an idealistic person. I wanted to change the world, and I thought I had found that possibility through Jesus. I was innocent at that time. I entered in the ministry only five months after my conversion. I didn’t finish the university because at that time in the ICOC, you had to choose between the university or the ministry. I decided to enter the ministry. I was ignorant. I’m ignorant today too!!! I ate my bible every day. I dreamed a lot about conquering the world for Christ. I didn’t know that I was advancing a cult.

I was a missionary to Chile in 1990. Ten months after the missionary team arrived to Chile, the lead evangelist, Andrew Giambarba had to return to Argentina and I became the leader of the mission in Chile. I was so young and ignorant to occupy that position. I was so stupid, arrogant and prideful. I preached like I was the big thing. How wrong I was. I spent a lot of time shouting, ordering, and criticizing other religions and other christians.

I got married with Claudia in 1990 in Chile. I had to marry her in Chile. Only my mother came to my wedding. That was so bad. I received a lot of letters of my family criticizing my decision to do the wedding in Chile instead of Argentina. It was something radical to do that. It was a common ICOC thing. Being radical and stupid at the same time.

I went to Mexico in 1992 to live there. The "church" in Mexico was growing a lot. At that time if you want to grow “spiritually” (It means growing in the ICOC system) you had to be in the ICOC of Mexico. There I learned the worst teachings and techniques. The lead evangelist was Phil Lamb and after him, Peter Garcia. For example, I learned in Mexico how to make people feel bad about their lives when they didn’t follow the ICOC rules. I learned there how to put pressure into people. The purpose of every staff meeting was to make everybody or someone in particular feel bad (the staff referred to these meetings as "Breaking sessions") It was so common to hear shouting in the staff meeting, making the staff feel bad about their ministry, until some of them cried. Not a joke, that was real.

We started to talk a lot about statistics. Kip McKean, founder of the ICOC and Los Angeles church was applying those statistics and we started to do the same. Statistics about how many people every member brought. I remember very well how bad many in the staff felt about taking so many numbers. The lead evangelist measured all our lives with the statistics. That was the only way to measure a leader. It was so awful. Obviously, we couldn’t complain. Some did and they were treated so badly. We started to get angry every time the statistics were bad. I shouted at my leaders meetings, I shouted to people in my zone of the church and I did everything possible to change and to have better statistics. Everyone around me behaved in the same way. I think that at that time I lost my love for God and the people and I started to look for success in the ministry. Every staff meeting, the lead evangelist made us feel bad about something in our lives, with statistics in his hand.

I learned how to control every person's life. We called it discipleship. Now, for me, it was control. We spread the sins of many rank and file members in our leaders meetings. Nobody had a private life, nobody.

In addition to the breaking sessions, we would have more casual staff meetings. During those more relaxed meetings, the men smoked cigars, drank tequila (a lot) and we talked about the most stupid and offensive things. We always were talking about the sins of people in the church, leaders or rank and file members. Gossip was the first thing in our mouth. Those times were so common. When a goal was achieved, such as meeting a monthly baptism quota, we went to the most expensive restaurant in the city. Man, we ate like lions. We spend too much money. A person in Mexico could live for one month with the money that I spent on my dinner. I feel ashamed about it now, because we used contribution money to pay for these expensive dinners.

The pressure to get the special contribution was so heavy. I received a lot of pressure from above to collect special contribution. Because of this, I put heavy pressure on the disciples who were in my ministry to give money for special contribution. The leaders, including me, made everybody feel guilty if they didn’t come up with the money to give.

The time I spent in Mexico was the worst in terms of learning the worst of the ICOC “ministry”: pressure, guilt, a lot of statistics, shouting, ordering and so on. The worst thing was the breaking session. If a member, or leader, or staff member was not “doing well spiritually”, we met with him/her. I said we, because we were 3 to 5 against the weak member or leader. We told him/her a lot of things, shouted if necessary, humiliated him, sometimes in front of his wife/her husband, until the person was broken (meaning that they cried and agreed to do whatever the breakers thought that person should do).They did that with me several times. I did that many, many times. We learned from the example of our lead evangelist and his wife, how to break someone. We did the same every time we could. They did that to me every time they could. People cried in their breaking sessions. My wife and I cried many times.

When I returned to Argentina in 1994, I brought all the things that I learned in Mexico with me. I started to lead the ICOC in Argentina. I applied the techniques and teachings I learned to my ministry in Buenos Aires. It was a nightmare!! I think that now. At that time, I felt good about what I was doing. My “ministry” began to grow, and I felt pride. How shameful!! But after a while, people began to get tired. The ICOC schedule was killing people. Every week, we had three church meetings (bible talk, midweek and Sunday service) one discipleship time (an encounter between a member and his assigned “teacher in the faith”), plus daily evangelism and every day contact with someone, like phone calls to others members, to report our evangelism, people to bring to church on Sunday, plus a lot of studies with non-members. Our week was full of activities. Someone could hardly ever visit his family.

One time we told people to put Mondays aside to get together with their families. What a stupid command! Only one day for the family! I was living only 10 minutes from my parents and I visited them only once in a regular week. I feel so bad. My family suffered a lot. One time, while I was single, my mom got mad about my schedule in the church. A doctor had to come to our house to calm her down. It was an extreme experience. I will never forget that day. And I used that experience to tell everybody that our family will persecute us for being “Christians”. But my mother was not persecuting me. She was just so upset about the way the church schedule was hurting my relationship with my family. Today I strongly believe that the ICOC destroys family relationships. Members take a lot of distance of their parents and become very judgmental about their lives. I’m so sorry about how deeply I hurt my parents during my time in the ICOC.

With so many activities, many people began to complain. I accused them of not being committed enough. I shouted at them. I tried to kick them out of the church because they were not committed enough. We used to do that a lot. It was a common practice, to throw people out from church because they were “rebels” against the system or not “fruitful”, meaning they did not bring new people to church. I have talked with many ex-members and members about these episodes. They feel bad about those times. Imagine if you had to sit down with a leader in a room, and he started to ask you a lot of questions about your life. After that, if he found that you weren’t a good disciple, he could throw you out of church or give you some time to prove that you were a good disciple. Awful! Many people were thrown away. I hear that before I returned to Argentina, the staff threw away a lot of members.

I committed a lot of sins against God and the people in the church with my anger and pride and pressure. I am so ashamed right now. I caused a lot of damage with my bad temper. One time I shouted to my secretary and I threw away all the things she had in her hands. I fired her for stupid reasons and in a bad, bad way. I’m so sorry about that. I was known for my bad temper and pride. Once I struck a wall in the middle of staff meeting, I almost struck one person there. I saw many of these episodes of shouting, striking things in many places and situations. I did the same.

The ministry in Argentina started to decline. Many people started to leave the church. They had reasons to do that. There were a lot of complaints from the rank and file about my bad leadership. At that time I fought with everyone to protect me. I hurt many.

In March 1999 I went to Brazil with my wife and my two daughters for six months to “recover spiritually”. It was another awful experience. They were doing a lot of statistics, in some meetings up to eleven pages!! Every action was recorded. For example, we had to take note of every daily quiet time that every member had weekly. It was a nightmare. They were losing thousands of members a year and they needed to recruit a lot more to keep growing the cult. And when they achieved goals, we did the same as we did in Mexico: expensive restaurants, a lot of alcohol and “unfit-for-rank-and-file-members-jokes”.

I lost the leadership of the Buenos Aires church in 1999 because of my bad temper and bad statistics. The church in BA was not growing. John Porter, GSL in our world sector, took me out of leadership. He was mad because he had to put one of his leaders in Brazil to lead in Argentina. He said that all was my fault. He talked with me with his angry eyes and voice. In the ICOC, letting leaders go to other places to lead was not a good idea. All church leaders wanted to keep their leaders in their area of influence so as to make sure that these leaders would contribute to their growth. I decided to stay in Buenos Aires because I wanted to show everybody there that I was totally committed to repentance. It was common practice in the ICOC that when a leader was taken away, it was “better for him” and the church that he went to another church to recover. I decided to stay.

John Reus took my place in the leadership in Argentina. But he stayed only six months and then Martin and Carmen Bentley came to lead Argentina in January 2001. At first, I thought that they would be mature leadership for Argentina. But I found Martin to be the most hard and close-minded person I had ever met. I said to myself so many times that year: “I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to have 30 years in the faith with a mind so closed.”

He was the ICOC system in person. He represented the system in a very common and harmful way: the “stealth” way. Gentle in the outside but a different person inside. He came to Argentina to represent the ICOC. To rescue Argentina from the division. In L.A, they didn't want another division in the ICOC. I found that most leaders in the ICOC were that way, one thing in the outside, but another very different thing in the inside. "Their words drip honey but their hearts are set on war". My wife told me that many times. She was tired of this behaviour in the upper leadership. My wife said "behind the smiling face is a stab you will receive as soon as you turn around".

Martin Bentley started to preach the “Only True Church” doctrine from the very first message. He preached that we were the only people saved in Argentina. He said in many sermons “when God sees Argentina, He only find his sons in this room.” Many people in the church began to leave because of this teaching. Many didn’t believe that we were the only true church anymore. They started to talk about it with other members and to denounce this false doctrine.

The staff started to mark people. They marked one ex staff member, because he didn’t believe in the One True Church doctrine anymore. After that Martin Bentley, the lead evangelist, started to mark a lot of people for the same reason. And many others, members and ex-members, seven or eight in one day, only because they began to criticize the ICOC. The criticism was always about the OTC doctrine, the contribution and the lifestyle of the staff. The other leaders started to think that I was a traitor to the ICOC cause because I began to tell the staff that we had to stop markings. One time I had an encounter with an ex-member that the staff marked. She talked with me about the ICOC being a cult. I mentioned to the staff and they didn’t like that I had that conversation with her. They considered her and many ex-members enemies.

I began to read a lot of books from other Christians and preachers with an open mind, such as Lucado, Hybels, Yancey, Palau, and many others. They opened my eyes. I learned about grace, love, tolerance. I started to believe in my heart that they were my brothers. I realized that we in the church were like the Pharisees in the Bible. We were leaders without grace, leaders with hard hearts, without love in our hearts. In spite of what I was learning, I was still following the ICOC rules. I had faith that the ICOC could change. When I talked with the leadership about the mistakes and sins of the ICOC, they always told me the same: “Things will change. Just wait.” I believed that. I wanted that. That is the main reason why I didn’t leave the ICOC before. But in my heart, I was a coward. I wanted to innovate and change, but not to lose my job. I knew that they didn't want to listen to me.

Around this time, I began to listen to a lot of the critics on the internet. I criticized them a lot. I sent horrible emails to them and to ex-members. But in my heart, my doubts started to grow. I’m so thankful to Reveal, to the ICC Discussion forum, and to many other websites, because they made me think. I didn’t want to. It was like a war between my horrible pride and the truth. I didn’t want to believe that it all was a big, big mistake. My life was a mistake. I threw away 15 years of my life in a big lie. It wasn’t easy to swallow. I know about my good intentions to seek and to serve God, but these are not excuses to make so many mistakes and sins.

I began to listen to some friends who had left the ICOC. They told me that the ICOC was a cult. I began to read a lot about it. I couldn’t believe that the ICOC was a cult, but I had so many proofs about it. I read a lot, I thought a lot. I fought with myself and with old friends. They told me the truth about the ICOC. I’m thankful to all of them for their patience and love. Some of them were patient and some of them didn’t want to talk with me anymore. I understand them now. I have hurt them a lot. I deserve their silence and distance. I was a bad, bad person.

I began to see things in the ICOC from another point of view. I was sitting there listening to other leaders preach the same every time. What boring sermons!! I started to understand why people were feeling bad about themselves. The messages were always about something that we didn’t do well or something that we need to do, like evangelism (I don’t consider it evangelism now. It is recruiting).

I started to hate statistics. We had a lot of statistics! We collected statistics regarding visitors for Sunday services, visitors for bible talks, possible visitors for Sunday service, people studying the Bible, quiet times, discipleship times, contribution, and daily evangelism sometimes. It was a lot of information to ask every member. I realized that statistics made people feel bad. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A CHURCH NOT A COMPANY. But I began to think that the ICOC wasn’t a church. It was a company. One time, a friend of mine who came to my home saw the ICOC statistics and he gave me a hard speech about the wrong of statistics in the ICOC and the useless and damaging way that we had to ask and read the statistics. He told me that we were a company instead of a church. And worst than a company, because he told me that no one in a company asks for statistics in that way and never weekly statistics because no one can evaluate something in such short time. One of my friends in the ICOC who left the cult, told me the same thing. He hated the statistics and he saw the damage that we were doing to people. I didn’t listen to him. I have big regrets about that. I apologized to him for this and many things that I committed against him.

I began to hate the special contribution too. It was a lot of pressure and now I was feeling that pressure.

I began to listen to all leaders in the ICOC, in a different way, and I began to understand a lot all the false doctrines and teachings. The KNN and the DPI books made me realize that the ICOC was wrong on a lot of topics. They were writing so many lies and stupid and non-biblical things. Rules, and more rules. Always making people feel guilty. Pride and more pride about our achievements and the McKean family's achievements. The McKeans were the Super family. It was so disgusting. I couldn’t it believe anymore. One time my lead evangelist, married to Elena McKean's sister, told me about Kip: “He never listens to anybody. It is always his way only.” I knew that this guy, Kip, wasn´t who all leaders were talking about. I started to read again Revolution Through Restoration 1 and 2, and the preachings in my church, and I began to discover the truth and the mistakes.

This a list of things that I began to not believe anymore at that time and why.

• We were the only true church on Earth. I couldn’t believe this anymore. I began to doubt that we were a church and I started to think that we were a cult. This kind of teaching was so common in cults.
• We were the only people saved on Earth. No way! I started to see other Christians like my brothers in Christ. I have no right to condemn other people. I got tired to send people to hell because they were not members of the ICOC. I have many regrets in this area. Many left the ICOC thinking that they were going to hell. They suffered a lot because of that. We called them fall-aways. I’m so sorry about that. I have talked with some of them, they told me that they felt so bad at that time and it took time to recover.
• If someone is not discipled by other disciple, (hierarchical system) you were not a Christian and you were not saved. The discipleship one over one caused a lot of damage in the ICOC members. Many became people who never thought for themselves anymore. This is one my bigger regrets, because I know many that have stopped thinking for themselves. The damage in this area is bigger than most of icoc members and ex-members, including me, can measure. We told people what to do, when to do it and how to do it. We controlled every area of their lives. We asked married people when the last time they had sex was and we were asking these kind of questions all the time to married people. We decided who would marry whom and when. That was disgusting. A lot of rules in dating. People were discouraged to date who they really wanted. We, in the staff, talked a lot about who should marry whom. We arranged many dates. We would prevent a member with leadership potential to date with another member, because he/she was not good for the leadership.
• Disciple=Christian=Saved. That was a big lie. We had to baptize only people who went though all the ICOC studies. That was the conclusion Kip taught every time that I listened to him in every meeting or conference. For me it was something like Pharisee=ICOC member=Saved.
• Kingdom of God = The church. I didn’t believe that anymore. The ICOC taught this false idea to use Matthew 6:33 to push people to put first the ICOC.
• Special contribution was taught every time in every meeting. It was all about money. People in my church were tired of giving and giving 15 or 16 times their weekly contribution every year.
• If you have not baptized someone personally in the last year, then you are a bad leader or you are a lost member. I began to realize that John 15, a scripture that the ICOC used to teach that we have to be fruitful by bringing people to church, was applied in a wrong way. In John 15, Jesus was talking about the fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, patience, etc.
• Church autonomy. I did not agree with following the Los Angeles Church, the “Super Church” that all of us in the ICOC had to follow and obey. I didn’t want to obey Kip McKean or any leader outside my church. I didn’t want to follow the church in Brazil, our church above us in Argentina. That was subversive thinking in the ICOC.
• Bringing visitors every week to church meetings. We weren’t saving people. We were recruiting people. We invited them to a service. It was not common to talk about Jesus. All was about “the wonderful” ICOC. The studies tried to conform people to the ICOC not to Jesus.
• Not miss any church meeting. But we have a lot of meetings! I saw that it wasn’t right to ask to people to follow the ICOC schedule. It was made for people in the ministry, not for rank and file members with a jobs and family.
• Lifestyle of the leadership. All of us leaders were earning a lot of money and all of us were living in nice houses or apartments. We were paid Health Insurance. We ate in restaurants (expensive ones sometimes) with other people and we got reimbursement, the same with gas. We went to conferences and we stayed at the best rooms in the nicest hotels. In those conferences we went to eat every day in a different fancy restaurant. I was earning $US 3400 a month in Argentina, plus Health Insurance, about $US 300. I know that my leaders above were making $US $7000 to $10,000 a month plus many reimbursements.
• The lack of preparation in the lives of the people in the staff. The staff in the ICOC was not prepared to lead churches. I started to lead a church with two years in the faith, without any professional training and with a marriage of only two months. It was stupid to put me in the leadership. It was a nightmare to me and to the people in the church. Many churches in Latin America are being led right now by young leaders without any knowledge about the ministry. They are right now leading churches, giving sermons, without preparation. They will destroy people’s lives. The ICOC is making the same mistakes all over again. They will never learn. We, the staff, were giving a lot of advice to people in every area, but without any real knowledge. All of it was our ideas. I gave a lot of stupid advice. I discipled marriages older than mine, I gave advice about how to raise kids when I didn’t have any! I couldn’t support anymore my lack of preparation. And I looked around in the leadership and I couldn’t find anyone with real and deep preparation. WSL and GSL alike didn’t have any preparation. Their teachings were so empty. Everything in the ICOC was improvisation. We played with people’s lives. Most of the leaders know how to run the ICOC system, but they don’t know anything about REAL ministry. I listened to hundred boring sermons, empty messages.
• The control of outside information. Typical cultic practice. We couldn’t read any criticism or talk with critics. We called any criticism in the internet "spiritual pornography." I learned that this technique was so common in cults. I decided that I will read all that I found against the ICOC. When we marked people from the pulpit for being critics, we couldn’t talk with them. Many families were destroyed by this. In Buenos Aires, the Henry Kriete letter was not allowed to be read. The lead evangelist in Argentina Flavio Uribe, who is making thousands of dollars a month for leading a geographical sector (a leader from Colombia said that He is making $US 10,000 dollars a month. I hope this is not true. Or perhaps, not true anymore), said that he didn’t want to read Henry Kriete's letter. Many in the Argentina church followed him in that idea. He called a meeting for all members in the church in Buenos Aires. He wanted all members to confess their sins. He explained that the problem was not the HK letter and all the false doctrines but the sin in the member’s lives. Many decided not to go to that meeting. They said to me that they didn’t want to be manipulated again. They wanted the truth. More than a hundred have left the church since that time because they wanted to read the letter and make real changes to the church. Now there are 80 or fewer members, when Argentina had almost 300 in 1999.
• Complaints about weight. I listened to many messages and comments about our weight. Kip McKean said one time that we, the staff, were disgusting because many of us were overweight. It was very common that if someone was overweight, the staff didn’t let him to participate in leadership, or singing or serving. It was pure discrimination.

In the middle of 2001, when I started to realize all the false teachings and bad practices of the church, I began to have a lot of trouble sleeping. I was awake until 4 or 5 in the morning. I had no peace in my life and I knew that I had betrayed my best friends in the ICOC (I will explain better that later) and God, preaching that the ICOC was the only true church (OTC doctrine) and we were the only saved people on Earth, for so many years.

I didn't want to do anything in the ministry because I started to think that all was a big mistake. I was hating the staff meetings. The staff meeting was always the same. Boring, and full of ICOC techniques. I was tired of all that.

I had already lost most of my friends. They left because of the OTC doctrine and many other things, such as the pressure to give contribution and the special contribution, etc. I missed a lot my friends but, at that time, I was very hard with them. I was defending the church in front of them but in my heart I was believing the same things that they were exposing. I feel very bad about that. Sometimes I want to travel in time to change so many things. Why did I do that to my friends? Why did I hurt them? I miss the people who don't want to talk with me anymore. Sometimes I have dreams/nightmares with them. I’m so sorry. I destroyed so many lives. They have the right to not want to talk with me anymore. I deserve that.

And when I remembered my life as an evangelist, I found it horrible. I was an easily angered person, I learned how to put pressure in people's lives and I was living for statistics. It was an awful time. I hurt many. I was a big and horrible example of a cult leader. Nobody wanted to talk with me. All people were afraid to talk with me because of my bad temper. I was prideful, arrogant and not a gentle person. I was like a general, all the time giving orders. I saw the church like an army. I tried sometimes to raise a big family in the church, but I always followed the orders from above: getting more baptisms, filling the statistics forms, executing the plans from above.

I didn't leave the ministry, they fired me in November 2001. They told me that the reason was that my zone, the marrieds, was not baptizing enough people. But the real reason was that I told the lead evangelist Martin Bentley that I will never believe or preach the OTC again in my life. I told him that I prefer to sell food in the street rather than to preach the OTC again. In the past, I was a coward and I was trying to keep my job. But one day I couldn't keep my mouth closed anymore. Less than a month after that conversation I was fired.

When I got fired, Martin Bentley told me that the church would not to pay my severance if I began to criticize the ICOC. Those words shocked me. I couldn’t believe my ears. It was one of the worst things that happened to me. 15 years in the ICOC, 14 in the ministry, and they treated me like a demon. But now I understand that they did to me the same that I did to others. I was receiving the same that I gave to others. But it was a horrible experience. I deserved it.

I called the World Sector Leader, Peter Garcia. I thought that he would understand my points. But he insulted me about “losing my convictions” about the OTC doctrine. He believed that we were the only true church. He treated me very badly. Since then most members in the ICOC of Argentina began to criticize me a lot, calling me bitter and many other things. I heard that at that time, after I moved to Miami, from the pulpit the staff began to say that I was weak with sin in my life and almost losing my faith and falling away.

I was convinced that we weren't the only church and that there were a lot of Christians everywhere. I couldn’t accept anymore that singles have to marry only ICOC people. When I talked with singles I began to feel that something was very wrong. I began to suffer when I saw them - a guilty feeling. I was leaving church (cult) meetings to go to my home with my wife and daughters but the singles were leaving alone, without any hope about finding a soul mate. I couldn’t support that anymore. They were staying singles for years, 13, 15 or more years. All because of an arrogant and stupid teaching that I taught, the OTC doctrine.

The OTC doctrine was dead in my mind and in my heart. I knew that a lot of people were suffering because so many false doctrines and the lack of grace. I was the teacher of all that crap. I was a cult leader. I was like the devil, making my brothers feel guilty about their faults every time I could. I was preaching against God, because He is a merciful God. I was preaching against my brothers and sisters in other churches. Now I feel bad about that. Sometimes, when I go to a Christian Bookstore near my home, I feel bad when I look at the others Christians there. They don’t know what I was. But I know, and that makes me feel bad.

After I got fired, I began to open my heart. I told the lead evangelist too that we needed to move from our houses because they were so expensive to rent. The lead evangelist was paying more than $US 2000 and in Argentina that is a lot of money. I was paying $US 700 at that time for my apartment and that was so expensive!! We were living an easy life with money from the people.

I have to say that Jaime De Anda, elder of our World Sector helped me when I got fired. He apologized for the things that Martin Bentley did to me and my wife. (By the way the Bentley’s have never apologized to us for what they did to us). My best friend and former GSL Andrew Giambarba and his wife Mariana helped us a lot. We always will have a debt of love with them. They invited us to Miami to stay there in the middle of our pain. The South Florida Church helped us a lot, and I’m thankful with a lot of people there like the elders, our evangelist and women’s leader during our time there, Ralph and Aileen Ojeda, and many couples that gave us their hearts and their financial help. We are so thankful to all of them. I love them and miss them a lot. But it is obviously difficult to maintain the friendship because many of them are still members, and I don’t agree with how the elders and the Porter’s are running the ICOC there and how they treated Andrew because he quit. That was a shame.

I left the ICOC this year. It was a long process. The Henry Kriete letter gave me a lot of reasons to leave because it validated a lot of my doubts and concerns. I was so happy when I first read it. But I don’t agree with him staying in the ICOC. I can’t accept it. It's his decision, but I don’t agree. At that time, when HK letter was out, I had hope that things would change. How stupid I was. The ICOC upper leadership, WSL and many GSL, didn’t want to be radical. They didn’t want to make real and deep changes. They wanted to protect their jobs. They are sending their children to school and universities. They can’t stop running the ICOC. Here in Argentina every staff leader is sending their children to private schools. It costs a lot of money that they will not get in other jobs. They want to control people’s lives. I can’t believe that they are preaching, teaching and attending conferences. They must resign and stop attending the ICOC and look for different jobs. It’s hard to accept that someone like Kip McKean, ICOC founder, after all damage that he has caused, is leading a church. It shows me that they are not getting what happened with the ICOC. They can’t accept it. I talked with many leaders in many places. They just don’t get it. I know that it is difficult to realize what I was, a cult leader. It’s a hard truth. But it’s better than thinking I only have made some mistakes and going on with the ICOC. Many in the ICOC are in denial. I was there, I can understand. I believe that the ICOC leaders need to pay for their sins in the ministry with a real repentance. I don’t know any ICOC leader who has shown real and deep repentance. They don’t feel the heavy burden that they deserve to feel. Leaders in the ICOC believe that God called them to preach, but after all that I saw in the ICOC, I believe that God is calling all of them to work in a regular job!!!

The last thing that gave me the strength to leave was that I saw my best friend Andrew Giambarba fighting the upper leadership to get things right in the ICOC. But they didn’t listen to him. Instead of that, they persecuted him and criticized him a lot. It was so bad. I know him, very well, and I know the nightmare that he went through. He quit his job, and he was a Geographic Sector Leader (GSL), married and with three kids. I know that he shares my feelings about our lives in the ICOC. He feels, like me, extremely guilty about the lives that have been so hurt by this un-godly system.

I have come to the conclusion after my experiences in the ICOC that the ICOC is a cult. It’s my opinion that it is not a church but a cult. The amount of damage in so many members' lives and the number of people that have left the ICOC through the years show me that I was in a dangerous system. I have talked with many ex-members in Argentina and other places and the pain they went through is incalculable. It’s difficult to listen to so many people wounded and not to ask myself "Why did I become part of this group? Why did I hurt so many lives? Why didn’t I leave earlier?" It’s difficult to realize what I did with my life this last 15 years.

Now, I fight with my guilt every day. It's so hard to realize how many people I have hurt. I was a cult leader, which is my definition about my life in the ICOC. I was a coward, I was a bad leader. I have had many bad days when I didn’t want to get up of my bed.

Most of my good friends are outside the ICOC now. I have some in the ICOC, I love them and I’m trying to understand their decision to stay inside.

I have a job, thank God, but I don't know how to do anything else!! I was in the ministry since I was 23. I never pursued my plan to become a lawyer because I left university to enter the ministry.

At least now I feel free of all ICOC man-made chains. That is the best thing that has happened in my life. The future is uncertain, but who knows? Better things are ahead I think. I have my wife, my two daughters, and I’m close to my parents.

I have to say thanks to Nicole of the ICC discussion forum. She gave me the idea to write my story and she made the corrections to my english. Thanks Nicole!!. And I have to give thanks to Andrew for correct other mistakes in my writing and encourage me during my bad days. Thanks to all ex-members in the ICC discussion forum for your hard fight.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ICCdiscussion/messages?msg=8928.1 "Confession of a Former ICOC Evangelist"

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