A funny thing happened on my way

... to my liberal arts degree

http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/02/funny-thing-happened-on-my-way-to-my.html

I've read lots of ex-christian stories but this one is hilarious. The guy, an atheist, gets elected president of his college's Baptist club!!! Too funny...

Songs of Praise (with Subtitles)

This beautiful music makes me want to go back to church this Thanksgiving.

Just for Fun

There's a hilarious comic site that Mike Paglia has been producing for years. Recently, SinCamper has been added to the site with his own hilarious comic, "My Evangelist." My favorites:

• Special
  
• Whatever...
  
• Done, done
  
• FATHER GOD!
  
• 10%
  
• Sorry
  

There's also a crazy funny thread on ExICOC, "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions..."

And on ICCDF: DPI Titles that never made it. Here's a compilation MARKEPA2 gave from the old arc-bc board:

Thirty Days at the Foot of the Condo
First the Kipdom
Sister Submissive
How to Build Unity Without Really Getting to Know Anyone
The Joy of Fearing your Leaders
The Co$t of Di$ciple$hip
Boy Meets Girl, Boy talks to Girl's DP, Boy Finds Another Girl
In Rememberence of the Gempel's Living Room
How to Get Happy in 3 Easy Steps
How to Use the Word 'Flat' in Everyday Conversation
9 to 5 and Spiritually Deprived
Special Contribution (Why Grown Adults Sometimes Host Bake-Sales)
Being Baptized as a Nation and Other Core Doctrines
Worst Principles
Theological Perspectives on the 'One-Armed Hug'
101 Fun Dating Ideas to Eradicate any Chance of Physical Contact
Because We Say So
Confessing Your Sins in Alphabetical Order
1,001 Ways to Eat Ramen Noodles
Unity Through Borrowing Other People's Possessions
The Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Job Performance
Filtering God's Word Through ICC Leaders
The 'Not in My Experience' Defense
Why Nobody's Else is a Christian
Fun With Attendance Stats
Money, Time & Other Things Heathens Enjoy
Heart Problems
Spiritual Pornography in the 90's
You're so Awesome, I'm so Awesome
Prepared to Proof Text
How to Live Without a Discipler- By the Ethiopian Enuch
I'm So Convicted it Changed My Life...Again!
Wag the Stats
We Know Of No Other...
The 7 Day, 14 Day or End of The Month Gratitude Journal
Restoration- a Journey Through Firery Hoops
Arbitrary Sin
Exegetical Analysis of the Ancient NIV Manuscripts.
Early Church History, Volume 1: 1979 to present.
The Art of Public Confessions and Rebuke
The Power of Guilt (Group Conformity Made Easy)
How to Alienate Everyone You Ever Meet in 30 Seconds or Less
Alive II: The tragic story of what happened to 15 brothers living in
a lower east side efficiency after the 3rd Special Contribution in two months.
The Singles Never Sleep
Men Are Evangelists, Women Are Counselors
A Tale of Two World Sectors
The Great Statsby
Better Check Your Heart of Darkness
Gone with the Special Contribution Wind
The Old Man and the ICC
Catch 22 Open People and Bring them to Church
Little House on the Prairie Rented by Members, Big House in the Suburbs owned by the ICC
Of Mice and Men who Dreamed
Kingdom Dreams
Romeo and Juliet and the Disciplers who Nixed Their Marriage Plans
Alices Adventures in the Wonderland of Getting Good Advice
The Grapes of God's Wrath Over Your Lack of Visitors
Death of a Salesman due to Ramen Malnourishment
The Art of Conditional Loving
Pride and Prejudice of Your Sector Leader
Cranking the Stats
How to Convert the Sharp, With Only a $480,000 Investment.
Crime and Punishment for Disunity
A Farewell to Arms and Anything Else you Can Sell for Contribution
The Son Also Raises Up
Lord of the Lies
A Midsummer Night's Righteous Singles' Dance Party
The Agony and the Agony
Around the World Sector in 80 Days
The Fine Art of Browbeating
The Power of Manipulation
The Master Plan of Controlling Your Disciplees
Breaking Session Chants of the Kingdom
Q & A (Questions and Avoidance)
The ICC Leader's Guide to Tax Fraud
Be Still, My Stomach - How to make it through those tough times on Ramen and other bargain foods
Popular Soul's Guide to Recruitment
The Victory of Sheepdom - How to win by following blindly
Love Your Discipler
Dating in the Kingdom - 100 ways to love each other without spening Any Time Together
The Discipler's Guide to Matchmaking - Workbook also available
The Kip I Never Knew
From Church to Cult in 3 Easy Steps
101 Ways to Make A Grown Man Cry During the Cross Study
The Cross Study- How to Spontaneously Make Someone Feel Cut to the Heart
How to Share Your Faith With Someone Who Owns A Car
Never Miss a Meeting of The Body Again - A Guide To Hobo Train Riding
Impressing a Sister's DP in 3 Easy Steps
Some Sat in the Hot Seat - Chemical Recovery Group Dynamics Manual
Making the Most of Scriptures Not Covered in First Principles
99 Reasons To Feel Good About Your Sin-List
ESCAPE - How to Convince Your DP its Not Your Sin Causing You To Question ICC Doctrine
How I Lost My Salvation Thru Masturbation
Raising Emotionally Defunct Children in Troubled Times
Love One Another...Teaching Your Child To Hug Complete Strangers!
Denial...It's not Just a River in Egypt
Missing Time...Remaining Grateful While Your Personal Life is Draining Away

More Kip Lite
This time, Ian's Macrosoft Cult-Speak Checker.

I'd like to comment on one particular section - I'll run it through my Macrosoft Cult-Speak Checker just for fun....
==================================

"As for ministers’ compensation, I personally have no problem with people knowing the amount of the salaries"

[translation: "I personally have no problem with people knowing the amount of the salaries... unless they're critics, or disciples with bad hearts, or anybody who has even the slightest suspicion that we've had our snouts in the trough for decades....."]

“Do not muzzle the ox” is a Biblical principle. The amount of salary is an opinion application of that principle"

[translation: "We'll pay ourselves as much as we think we deserve, so shut up, bend over and smile"]

"Our experience has been that when the salaries are revealed many succumb to envy if the salary is more than their own even when the full-time servant has been in the ministry for 10 or 20 years more than they have been in the work force"

[translation: "Never mind the fact that most of us have never worked a day in our lives at a real job, and that we've placed a financial burden on you by endlessly harassing you for money, we deserve to live better than you do. All those challenges to live sacrificially don't apply to us, after all"]

"People in their 20s and 30s who have never bought houses have been critical of ministers in their 40s and 50s buying homes"

[translation: "People who would now be buying their first homes if they hadn't given all their money to support our luxurious lifestyles, should shut up and stop complaining"]

"We need to repent of our critical attitudes and be supportive of our full-time servants"

[translation: "Stop asking where the money is going! We'll throw it into a hole in the ground if we want!"]

"The truth is that a number of ministers have left the ministry because of the constant criticism of their lifestyle and their children - the “fishbowl effect.”"

[translation: "A number of ministers have left after their greed for money was exposed."]

"Instead of criticizing these sacrificial servants, their arms need to be held up so they do not become too weary."

[translation: "When a leader lives in a nice house in a wealthy suburb and sends his kids to expensive private schools, all at the church's expense, he's being a sacrificial servant. When you receive a tax refund or an inheritance and don't give it for SMC, you're being greedy and materialistic, so shut up!"]

"I am not saying that ministers should not be confronted and gently called to repent (Galatians 6:1)"

[translation: "Ministers should be treated gently, given the vaguest and most lenient rebukes. On the other hand, if you commit even one of the many imaginary sins the ICC has invented, you'll be humiliated in front of the church with a loud public condemnation"]

"But when we crucify our strongest leaders, we will be led into mediocrity by leaders who are afraid of the membership and we will not evangelize the world"

[translation: "Cults need harsh, greedy, ruthless leaders, so shut up and stop expecting your evangelist to listen to any of your petty grievances"]

[ PS - shut up! ]

KIP