Friday, July 18, 2003

More Kip Lite
This time, Ian's Macrosoft Cult-Speak Checker.

I'd like to comment on one particular section - I'll run it through my Macrosoft Cult-Speak Checker just for fun....

"As for ministers’ compensation, I personally have no problem with people knowing the amount of the salaries"

[translation: "I personally have no problem with people knowing the amount of the salaries... unless they're critics, or disciples with bad hearts, or anybody who has even the slightest suspicion that we've had our snouts in the trough for decades....."]

“Do not muzzle the ox” is a Biblical principle. The amount of salary is an opinion application of that principle"

[translation: "We'll pay ourselves as much as we think we deserve, so shut up, bend over and smile"]

"Our experience has been that when the salaries are revealed many succumb to envy if the salary is more than their own even when the full-time servant has been in the ministry for 10 or 20 years more than they have been in the work force"

[translation: "Never mind the fact that most of us have never worked a day in our lives at a real job, and that we've placed a financial burden on you by endlessly harassing you for money, we deserve to live better than you do. All those challenges to live sacrificially don't apply to us, after all"]

"People in their 20s and 30s who have never bought houses have been critical of ministers in their 40s and 50s buying homes"

[translation: "People who would now be buying their first homes if they hadn't given all their money to support our luxurious lifestyles, should shut up and stop complaining"]

"We need to repent of our critical attitudes and be supportive of our full-time servants"

[translation: "Stop asking where the money is going! We'll throw it into a hole in the ground if we want!"]

"The truth is that a number of ministers have left the ministry because of the constant criticism of their lifestyle and their children - the “fishbowl effect.”"

[translation: "A number of ministers have left after their greed for money was exposed."]

"Instead of criticizing these sacrificial servants, their arms need to be held up so they do not become too weary."

[translation: "When a leader lives in a nice house in a wealthy suburb and sends his kids to expensive private schools, all at the church's expense, he's being a sacrificial servant. When you receive a tax refund or an inheritance and don't give it for SMC, you're being greedy and materialistic, so shut up!"]

"I am not saying that ministers should not be confronted and gently called to repent (Galatians 6:1)"

[translation: "Ministers should be treated gently, given the vaguest and most lenient rebukes. On the other hand, if you commit even one of the many imaginary sins the ICC has invented, you'll be humiliated in front of the church with a loud public condemnation"]

"But when we crucify our strongest leaders, we will be led into mediocrity by leaders who are afraid of the membership and we will not evangelize the world"

[translation: "Cults need harsh, greedy, ruthless leaders, so shut up and stop expecting your evangelist to listen to any of your petty grievances"]

[ PS - shut up! ]


Labels: , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home